The Killer Cicadas Bash

The ultimate showdown between humans and giant, man-eating, killer cicadas took place last night at the Rives Theater in Martinsville, VA. The house was packed with folks eager to catch the latest from the delinquent Smith Brothers, Mat and Myron, whose previous effort, Young Blood: Evil Intentions, has just been novelized courtesy of ye old author dude. Earlier in the day, a strange-looking, upright cicada-type entity was reportedly seen around town advertising the movie. Ms. Kimberly, who has a small part as a mad professor's mistress, and I, who play the mad professor, arrived in town a couple of hours prior to showtime and had a very fine dinner at Rania's Restaurant in uptown Martinsville. When we got to the theater — which is where I saw the majority of my most beloved monster movies as a young'un — it was already just about filled up. Shortly, Mat and Myron were giving the audience a little introduction on what we were about to see, and then we were treated to a classic Betty Boop cartoon — which was, appropriately, all about a bunch of ornery bugs.

Invasion of the Killer Cicadas then rolled. It's a very short film — just under an hour long — and is all about the cheese. It's a genuinely funny comedy, with blatantly hokey special effects, lots of great quips from the characters, a wee bit of graphic gore, and some killer original music by The Directive, Smokey Miles, J.D. Hades and the Exterminators, Hyberborean Slumber, and others. The fun was infectious, and everyone in the audience looked to be having two and a half hoots. Ms. Kimberly and I certainly were.

After the show, most of the cast devalued lots of movie posters with our autographs, and then we headed over to Hugo's Bar & Grill for a few drinks and fun company. Quite the red carpet affair, this premiere!

Like Young Blood before it, Invasion of the Killer Cicadas will no doubt be making the rounds at other venues and eventually see release on DVD. Me, I can't wait. If your community is fortunate enough to be attacked by killer cicadas, I strongly recommend you don't miss them. Shoot first, question later.

Click here to watch the Jamie Walker Show about the movie from WYAT TV, which I participated in last week.

Meww Gomez and John Robert Price, stars of Invasion of the Killer Cicadas (photo by Rita Smith)

Writers, producers, directors, and Do-It-All Boys, Mat and Myron Smith (photo by Rita Smith)

After-party at Hugo's, featuring cast members Sarah Smith and Jenny Holmes

No mad scientist is complete without a beautiful mistress — even if she's looking a little blurry on camera.

The Directive: Invasion of the Killer Cicadas!

Hey, hey... The Killer Cicadas song by The Directive features Professor Doctor Werner Von Schwartztotten's maniacal monologue at the beginning. How awesome is that?

The Cicadas Invade... This Weekend!

Here they come! This Saturday night, August 9, at 7:00 PM, at the Rives Theater in Uptown Martinsville, VA. Invasion of the Killer Cicadas, made by brothers Mat & Myron Smith, and featuring ye old dude playing wacky mad scientist Professor Doctor Werner Von Schwartztotten. If you've not gotten tickets yet, they may be available at the door, but the show is likely to sell out. Guaranteed to be great fun....

In the same but different department, I've completed the novelization of the Smith Brothers' first movie, Young Blood: Evil Intentions and turned it in for approval. There will likely be some revisions before it's all said and done, but it's been a dynamite, mighty fun project.

And the show goes on.

Killer Cicadas Take the Airwaves

Thursday, July 31, at 5:30 PM, Mat and Myron Smith, along with special guests — including ye old man — from their movie, Invasion of the Killer Cicadas, will be airing on The Jamie Walker Show on Martinsville, VA's WYAT TV-40. People outside of the Martinsville area can now watch the show on YouTube.

The show will feature interviews, photos, video clips, and more from Invasion of the Killer Cicadas. The movie premieres at the Rives Theater in Martinsville on August 9 at 7:00 PM. Note: in southwestern VA, you can watch WYAT TV-40 on Channel 99 on Comcast Cable.

The Killer Cicadas Premiere — August 9, 2014

Invasion of the Killer Cicadas, the latest bit of indie movie mayhem from the evil Smith brothers, Mat & Myron, is coming to the Rives Theater in Martinsville, VA, on Saturday, August 9, at 7:00 PM. Ye old man has a small part as mad professor Dr. Werner von Schwartztotten, the evil genius behind the killer cicadas, and Kimberly "Ms. B." Brugger gets to show just what she's made of in a killer hot tub scene. If you're anywhere in the area, by all means, come round and get in on the monster action. Tickets cost $7.50 and must be purchased in advance — and they're going faster than fast. They're still available from several businesses in Martinsville, including What's Your Sign and Stafford's Music, and online from cbaity.wix.com. Or contact Mat Smith or Myron Smith directly (via Facebook) for fast personal service.

Trailer 1 for Invasion of the Killer Cicadas.

I have just finished the novelization of Mat & Myron's first movie, Young Blood: Evil Intentions, which was released just over a year ago. Recently, the gentlemen producers decided the real events behind the movie needed to told, and I was the nearest person who might be able to actually make that happen. So, yeah... done and done. The book will be coming out soon enough, so mind your necks, good people.

Bloody well right.

Young Blood: Evil Intentions — The Novel

Zoe Cox and Autumn Ward in Young Blood: Evil Intentions (2012)

In 2012, brothers Mat and Myron Smith made a fun little indie movie called Young Blood: Evil Intentions, in which I had a bit part as a Highly Concerned Citizen of a little town that gets overrun by a veritable horde of juvenile vampires. Alternately grim and hysterically funny, Young Blood has played in numerous theaters around the region, appeared at film festivals, and been released on DVD. With cameos by The Munsters star Butch Patrick (Eddie Munster), Troma Entertainment founder/actor Lloyd Kaufman, and horror host/musician Robert "Count Smokula" Miles, the movie has gained a sizable cult following.

And it's about to become a book.

I have been contracted to write a novelization of the movie, and this fun endeavor is currently well in progress. A teaser chapter will soon be foisted upon the public at large, and you will be encouraged to run screaming... for a whole lot more. Be afeared. Be very afeared.

The Smith brothers are currently wrapping up their latest movie, Invasion of the Killer Cicadas, in which I play mad scientist Dr. Werner von Schwartztotten. Look for it this summer, and you can become even more afeared.

For now, be sweet.

Auf Wiedersehen, Mad Prof!

Some of you regular visitors may recall that, in addition to writing tales meant to be read late at night and occasionally utilizing multi-billion dollar satellites to hunt little containers hidden in the woods and elsewhere, I have also offered my not-necessarily-considerable thespian talents to a couple of indie movies made by Martinsville, VA, natives Mat and Myron Smith. In their most recent offering, Invasion of the Killer Cicadas, I play the role of Professor Doctor Werner von Schwartztotten, the twisted genius responsible for genetically engineering the malevolent title creatures. In the Smith Brothers' first movie, Young Blood: Evil Intentions (2012), which told the story of numerous child vampires running loose in a small southern town, I had a weenie part as an outspoken citizen. In Cicadas, the mad prof doesn't have much more screen time than the loudmouthed old fart, but, as creator of the title monsters, he provides a tad more substance to the storyline. Several months ago on the set, I delivered a rousing lecture about the nature of monster insects to a committee of concerned townsfolk; today, the good doctor spoke his final lines for the movie, which is now wrapping up shooting.

I expect the movie will be entirely in the can by the end of June, and — hopefully — it will soon afterward follow in the footsteps of Young Blood and make an impressive circuit of numerous theaters around the region and elsewhere, as well as play at film festivals and see a DVD release. Both movies are a hootin' holler — just the kind of productions to appeal to fans of Troma Entertainment movies and such (in fact Young Blood features Troma Entertainment founder Lloyd Kaufman as a hysterical news reporter). Young Blood: Evil Intentions is available on DVD and may be purchased here: Young Blood: Evil Intentions

Here's the official trailer for Invasion of the Killer Cicadas. Enjoy.

Let's Get This Show on the Road!

We had been sitting on the set of Invasion of the Killer Cicadas waiting for the director to call "Action!" for a while, and Ms. Sarah Smith — the director's aunt — was ready to up and exterminate some giant bugs. So she hollered, "Let's get this show on the road!" and, sure enough, before we knew it, we were in a town meeting formulating a strategy to destroy the monster insects that have invaded the little town of Martindale. Well, most of the forty or so people gathered there had that noble purpose in mind. However, one nefarious fellow — Professor Doctor Werner von Schwartztotten — was in attendance specifically to detail a rather sinister plan for world domination by way of engineering giant carnivorous insects. And lucky me — I was cast as the cranky old prof! (Good thing the producers are going against typecasting.) Happily, Ms. Brugger, who accompanied me to the shoot, was given a few lines to hurl at the camera, so I hope her day was as satisfying.

As I've posted previously, Invasion of the Killer Cicadas is the newest horror offering from independent filmmakers Mat and Myron Smith, of Martinsville, VA. Just over a year ago, I made a brief appearance in their first venture, Young Blood: Evil Intentions, which was a horrifically funny production about vampire kids. This time around, the horror gets BIG, and the giant cicadas may be just the beginning — according to the professor, "Zis vill be ze beginning of ze end!"

The movie has been in production for several months, and there are still a few scenes left to film before the project is wrapped up. The script promises to offer some hysterical surprises... as I got to see first-hand. I know my anticipation is at fever pitch, as yours should be. In the meantime, why not enjoy some roasted cicadas as a snack?

Cut.

The townsfolk gather to formulate a plan to exterminate the big bugs.

Director Myron Smith (L) follows with the script as Cop (Christopher Harding, R) directs the hordes
of locals preparing to wage war against the killer cicadas.

Protagonist J.P. (John Robert Price II) and the secretive arms dealer (Dod Smith) plot to make some massive
explosions, ostensibly in the name of fighting the killer cicadas.

Dammit, Sarah, what have you done this time? In dutch with the law... again.

J.P. (John Robert Price II), stoned on the job.

Bret Smith and Professor Doctor Werner Von Schwartztotten (ye old dude)

The Cicadas Are Coming... Again

No, not the 17-year variety that came and went a short time ago, but the giant, killer kind that spring from the minds of independent filmmakers Mat and Myron Smith, who last year treated us to Young Blood: Evil Intentions, made in Martinsville, VA. I had a teeny tiny role in that one — see "Young Blood — The Movie," March 9, 2012 — and I gotta tell you, since then, the movie offers have been rolling in; so many I can't keep up with them. But me, I'm choosy, so I've been holding out for just the right part, and I think it's finally come round. The Smith brothers' next project is Invasion of the Killer Cicadas, which is now under way in Martinsville, and, this coming Saturday, August 3, I'm slated to play a mad professor at a town meeting. There's room for extras, I'm told, so if you're in the area and are dying for a chance to appear in monstrously fun monster flick, this may be it. The shoot will take place at Jefferson Plaza in uptown Martinsville at 10:00 AM. Bring your funny bones.

On the set of Invasion of the Killer Cicadas — from left to right: Summer McAlexander, Sharon "Kay" Dodd,
Mat Smith, Myron Smith, Christine Edwards, Karen Colletti