Thursday, November 27, 2014

Anchors A-Weigh: A Random Klutz Story

Not sure I understand it, but that is, in fact,
a boat anchor hanging from a tree.

After an almost sinfully huge Thanksgiving dinner this afternoon, I took the overstuffed body out for a much-needed walk in the brisk breeze around my old neighborhood in Martinsville. It was quite pleasant; I always enjoy roaming the paths I frequented as a youngster, particularly at Lake Lanier, just down the street from my mom's. I confess I was intrigued to find a boat anchor suspended from a tall tree along the lake bank. I'm not sure it's actually keeping that tree from drifting away, but then, I'm no expert in nautical matters.

In my reckless youth, I took great pleasure in riding my bicycle on every local trail — or anything that even remotely passed for a trail — no matter how primitive or dangerous it might be. In recent years, the once-rugged trail, now called The Blue Heron, around one side of Lake Lanier has been leveled and partially graveled, and the lake association has constructed a few elevated wooden walkways over the steep-sided inlets that I used to zoom up and down on my bike. Quite miraculously, back then I never did end up in the water. I reserved that ignominious feat for adulthood, when I was on foot on the upgraded trail. No, not today, but several years ago, on a similarly frigid, windy day. I was enjoying the scenic view, which has changed little since my days of enthusiastic bike riding, and instead of watching where I was going, I was looking uphill at an attractive house built into the woods that hadn't been there in my youth. A few days before, there had been some rain, but for the most part the trail was dry. I hadn't anticipated there being any lingering slickery spots.

Never, ever fail to anticipate.
The very spot where I will not admit to
having fallen in the lake, except I did.

Next thing I know, I'm hearing a disturbingly heavy splash, and I'm looking at my feet way up in the air above me, and bone-chilling water is rushing over me like a cataract. I'm frantically pulling things out of my pockets — my cell phone, my wallet, my keys, anything the water might ruin — and mentally composing an aria of old, new, and spontaneously concocted swear words (think of Darren McGavin in A Christmas Story). I feel something between my teeth, and thinking it might be important, I clench my jaw shut so that whatever it is won't escape. After a few moments, I realize it is a leaf. Reluctantly, I set it free.

Once I finally dragged my sorry, soaked ass out of the shallow water, I determined with some relief that my cell phone had escaped submersion, and — above all things — that no one had been on the trail nearby to witness this act of unparalleled brilliance. On my frigid, three-quarter-mile walk back home, I did pass several walkers who raised their eyebrows at my obviously waterlogged figure, but I gave them my best nonchalant smile and continued on my way.

Today on my walk, I did encounter an old buddy, David Vogelsong, whom I've not seen except on Facebook in several decades. Nice indeed. I did venture into the nearby woods to check on one of my geocaches — "Castle Rock" (GC1BWV2) — where, a couple of years ago, the lovely Kimberly took a less-than-graceful tumble herself. That, however, can be a story for another day.

Click on images to enlarge.
The old boathouse at Lake Lanier. When I was a kid, I'd ride my bike down to it
with friends to get sodas, candy, and ice pops here.
Walkways along the Blue Heron Trail. They weren't there when I used to tempt fate
on my bike zooming up and down around the inlets.
The wind was really whipping across the lake today. At least I stayed dry.
I've always loved this lake view. It's changed little in half a century.

Turkey Day Treats: Cachin' and Eatin'

I'm pretty sure that, since I started geocaching in 2008, I've had at least a cache or two to go after on Thanksgiving Day, but until this morning, things were not looking so good for cache hunting without having to drive a prohibitive distance out of my way. However, when I got out of bed — a task made torturous by the weight of several well-fed cats on top of me — I found that a new cache had been published, right along my route to Mum's. Happy day indeed! Just a park-n'-grab hide, but one that took me to a pleasant, scenic little corner of Rockingham County, just outside of Stoneville. Rather than the direct route up U.S. 220, I opted to take the back roads through Guilford and Rockingham Counties, which I often favor when heading to Martinsville. The cache was a quick find, and I took a couple of photographs of the location, seen below. A most pleasant excursion, made all the more enjoyable by some smooth chillin' music courtesy of SiriusXM, which has offered me an extended free trial. Oh, but those devious minds do know how to grab one and suck one in, don't they....

Unlike the past couple of years, Thanksgiving Day 2014 for the Raineys has been pretty low-key. Ms. B. is traveling, brother is working, and other good friends who sometimes share the day with us are also out of town. So for dinner today, it was just Mum, her friend Mary, and ye old man. Still a feast it was, with turkey, dressing, cranberry salad, fresh corn and green beans, and my own special homemade pumpkin pie (the recipe from the Libby's can, a little bit doctored up).

Early on, it was raining, but for the moment, at least, the sun has come out — a good thing, as I have a crapload of dead bird and pumpkin pie I really need to walk off.

Happy, happy Thanksgiving to the lot of ye.

Friday, November 14, 2014

The Yellow eKing


Celaeno Press's In the Court of the Yellow King, which features my story, "Masque of the Queen," has been out in trade paperback for a month or so, and now the e-book versions are coming to insidiously worm their way into your mind and send you over the edge. You can get it on iBooks for your Mac device and now on Kindle from Amazon. With all objectivity, having read all but the last couple of stories in the book, I can tell you without hesitation that this book royally rocks. In addition to my little parley with madness, you'll find superlative fiction here from Tim Curran, Cody Goodfellow, T. E. Grau, Laurel Halbany, C. J. Henderson, Gary McMahon, William Meikle, Christine Morgan, Edward Morris, Robert M. Price, W. H. Pugmire, Peter Rawlik, Brian Sammons, Lucy Snyder, Greg Stolze, and Jeffrey Thomas. The book is edited by Glynn Owen Barrass, with beautiful cover art by Daniele Serra.

"There was once a play with the power to drive the reader mad... or to transport him into the bizarre world of Carcosa and the King in Yellow. Banned, burned, yet never totally destroyed, the play lives on, eating away the fabric of society and rotting the veneer of civilization... In the Court of the Yellow King is new anthology of stories based on the King in Yellow Mythos originated by Robert W. Chambers."

For Kindle: In the Court of the Yellow King

You may read more about the book, along with a few personal reflections on Robert W. Chambers' The King in Yellow stories, here.

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Bold Moon at Twilight

Geocaching has been the world's best activity for leading me to new and different places, and I'm always fond of finding unfamiliar nature preserves and trail systems. Several new caches were published today at the Bold Moon Nature Preserve, which, much to my surprise, is located only six miles from my house, off Hicone Road in Guilford County. I never had a clue the place existed. It's not very large, about 21 acres, but it's really quite beautiful, with a well-maintained trail that leads down to Reedy Fork Creek. The preserve has existed since 2008, with much of the land donated to Guilford County by its former owners.
Two trees merged to become one

I arrived just before sunset, with close to a mile round-trip ahead of me. One of the caches required solving a puzzle on-site, so I wasn't sure I'd be able to make it to the lot of them before nightfall. In the end, however, I did manage to claim them all, with little daylight to spare. I tell you, there's nothing like being in beautiful autumn woods at twilight, and I quite enjoyed the pastoral scenery around the trail head. There had been a handful of people gathered at the trail head when I started my hike, but they quickly departed, leaving me in relatively relaxing, peaceful solitude — with just a touch of eerie atmosphere surrounding me. The moon is just past full, so I doubted there would be werewolves out and about this evening, but I have to tell you, if there was ever a place for werewolves to haunt, this would be it. For the old horror writer in me, being at this location with darkness falling really got the creative nerves going. I'm pretty sure the trail is just crying out for a night cache, though since I've already set up a couple, I'd prefer to see someone else do it. There are neighbors fairly nearby though, so there's no telling whether strange geocachers creeping through the woods, following glowing reflector tacks, might frighten them slap to death.

Hell, I've scared me slap to death when I'm creeping around in the woods at night.
An old critter stall bearing a Bold Moon sign made of mirror fragments
"Trail Building," according to a sign I found inside (see below)
I dunno... maybe there is a werewolf in there.
Intriguing sign at the trail head

Saturday, November 8, 2014

Grassy Creek to Brushy Mountain

Kimberly and I spent the day at a couple of wineries out in Elkin, in the Yadkin Valley — Grassy Creek and Brushy Mountain, both of which offered several decent dry reds, as well as a drinkable white or two. Grassy Creek, just north of town, is on the site of the old Klondike dairy farm, the tasting room housed in a beautifully renovated stable. Very courteous proprietor and staff, with pleasant, mellow live music courtesy of guitarist/vocalist David Niblock. We were most taken with their unique Chambourcin, which was rich and "chewy," rather like a Primitivo or Zinfandel. They had an oaked Chardonnay that I found pretty damn appealing, which is rare for a white wine.

Brushy Mountain, in downtown Elkin, had a handful of decent reds, their best being the Chatham Reserve, a a blend of Merlot, Cabernet Franc, Chambourcin, and Cabernet Sauvignon, aged in French oak for 18 months. Damn good for a North Carolina wine.

After the wineries, I availed myself to a few nearby caches, the most interesting of them being at Elkin's oldest church, Galloway Memorial Episcopal, pictured above. Interestingly, components from the church, such as a chancel railing and carved doorframe, were used in the building at the Brushy Mountain winery. There's a small damn and waterfall just behind the church building that add to its rustic charm. The place rather looks as if it ought to be haunted. Based on the baleful apparition lurking on the steps in the photo, I'd say it probably is.

Friday, November 7, 2014

Creeple People

Team Old Fart — Rob Isenhour, Robbin Lee, and I — spent Sunday last on the Mountains-to-the-Sea trail around Falls Lake, just northeast of Durham, NC, for some post-Halloween creepiness. Lots of caches, good weather, good hiking. Happily for me, one of the caches lurked in the old haunted cabin you see above. However, upon our arrival, something amid the shadowy spaces within began to raise a ruckus. Quite the cacophony — scrabbling, rustling, rumbling, caterwauling. We figured it might be a bunch of vampires incensed by our intrusion, but after a moment, a wake of buzzards came roaring out of there, gave us the stink eye, and vamoosed. All seemed well, the danger past, until I was confronted by this freakish sight. My nerves snapped and I fled without looking back.

After I signed the log, of course. I wasn't about to hie myself out of there without earning my smiley.

Saturday, November 1, 2014

Happy Hallowine


One could hardly have asked for a more perfect Halloween.

Traditionally at the office, we have a big fall festival, with costumes, jack-o'-lantern carving contests, trick-or-treating, and either a reading or noisemaking of sorts by the ol' dude (see "Night of the Scarecrow" for a bit about last year's racket). This year, the celebration at work was more low-key, but I did read an excerpt from my latest tale, "The Nothing." I was pelted by no rotten fruit or other less-than-desirable paraphernalia, so I consider this a marked success. Then Ms. B. and I hit the road for the Blue Ridge Parkway in Virginia, where our first port of call was Villa Appalaccia, one of our favorite wineries in the area. The wine there is very authentic Italian, and after a decent tasting, we ventured out into the chilly afternoon to share a bottle of Aglianico, one of their best dry reds. A short distance from the main building, there's a walled terrace that resembles the foundation of an old Italian villa, a little desolate-looking amid the barren and still-turning trees. A relentless wind made for a brisk time of it — in fact, I'm told they got snow last night and this morning — but the setting is so perfect for the season, we wouldn't have had it any other way.

From there, we took a little side trip up to the Stonewall Bed & Breakfast, where we have stayed a couple of times (see "Stonewalled" for info on the place and pics), to pay our respects to the proprietor, Mr. Scott Truslow, whom we had got to gotten to know during our visits. This is a beautiful, cozy inn with a couple of remote, rustic cabins out in the woods — we loved the View Cabin, where we spent New Year's a couple of years back — and I can't recommend the place highly enough.

Then it was back down the Parkway to Chateau Morrisette Winery & Restaurant for an excellent dinner. Beef medallions in a wine-mushroom sauce, with potatoes and asparagus for the old man and duck and dumplings for the young lady. Both dishes were perfectly prepared and presented, and our server was first-class all the way. After a less-than-exemplary visit to the winery there some months back, as of last night, we felt they redeemed themselves and then some.

Afterward, we headed to Martinsville to Mum's and, before retiring, watched Oculus, just to cap off an excellent Halloween with a final scare. Not a bad movie — in fact, one of the better creepy films I've seen in quite a long while. Today, a little caching on the way back to Greensboro helped take the sting out of Halloween's passing.

After all these years, still my favorite among favorite holidays, it is. A Happy Post-Hallowine to all my fine friends.
Spectacular foliage seen from Lovers' Leap on the Blue Ridge Parkway
Fun but very strange folk, photographed by a courteous — and fearless — stranger at Lovers' Leap
Villa Appalaccia, seen from the remote terrace
Rock Castle Gorge, seen from the Blue Ridge Parkway. Ms. B. and I have ventured into the gorge
a few times — it's among the most excellent, scenic hikes I have ever undertaken.

Sunday, October 26, 2014

Home Is Where the Haunt Is

Pedro
In dim, dark ages past, I have taken great delight in decorating the house on holidays, particularly Halloween, but in more recent years, I haven't managed to get particularly motivated in that regard. This year, I decided to do a little something about it, as last night, Ms. Brugger and I hosted our monthly supper club dinner with several fine couples of our acquaintance. It was only fitting to make our guests as uneasy as possible, so in addition to the year-round scares lurking here and there about the domicile, I added a handful of grim little extras. Not an extravagant decorating job by any stretch — not like many of the impressive and certainly expensive home overhauls I see here and there — just a handful of mood-setters. I rather like the effect after dark, shown in the quick video below.

Earlier last week, Ms. B. and I watched It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown, so it's now officially permissible for Halloween to come on Friday. We have plans; I'm trying formulate a believable alibi. Quite looking forward to it this year.

A couple of freshly carved gentlemen, catching a few rays before nighttime guard duty
Abbey Normal
The Lost Face and Ding-a-Ling, who are full-time residents of Chateau Le Chat

Sunday, October 19, 2014

The Gaki & Other Hungry Spirits


For four days — until October 23 — you can get the Kindle edition of my short story collection, The Gaki & Other Hungry Spirits, at Amazon.com for 99¢. It features 17 of my original short stories, including several that have never appeared elsewhere. My story "Abroyel," for example. A hard-boiled detective tale that also offers you a tantalizing glimpse of something from "other" regions. Dark regions, you might say. You may get a shudder — and a decent chuckle — out of "The Spiders of Galley Cove," a story about a peculiar young man, a peculiar town, and a peculiar horror that comes down from the stars during a science experiment gone awry. Or journey back to the Middle Ages in "Iron Heart," for a taste of life in a village that eats its children.

The Gaki offers you a fair sampling of my work over a span of nearly thirty years, and it's every bit scary. I know this because coming up with these tales scared the pants off me. In fact, if you see my pants, I'd kind of appreciate their return. There's no reward, I fear, but you'll be doing the public a service, for which they'll thank you, since most people don't seem to want me walking around sans pants.

Original cover art is by M. Wayne Miller.

You can read the story, "The Gaki," for free at my website, right here: "The Gaki (html, pdf, or Kindle file)

Check out my collection The Gaki & Other Hungry Spirits by Stephen Mark Rainey — for your Kindle from Amazon.com, only 99¢ for a limited time. From Dark Regions. Note: If you prefer the trade paperback, you can also get it from Amazon.com, for $13.49. It's a beautiful book, all full up with excitement, terror, intrigue, even a little romance, all for about the price of a decent bottle of wine. Partake of both, and I guarantee you'll be one happy, happy reader.

Sunday, October 12, 2014

I've Been A-Ramblin'


On Sunday evenings, Lovecraft eZine editor Mike Davis regularly hosts an hour-and-a-half talk show with various authors on the eZine website, and he very kindly had me back on the show this evening. The video is presented here for your edification and torture. It's kind of a panel discussion, with several participants on hand and Mike moderating; structured but informal, I'd call it. Now, watching myself on video is a little excruciating, especially when it's clear that I'm trying to think but nothing is happening, and the number of "you-knows" in a sentence exceeds the word count for a novella, so beyond the little snippet of the video I just looked at, I'm washing my hands of it. That said, after the first few minutes, things pick up a bit as the writer dude manages to relax. So, if you have an interest in Lovecraftian fiction, monster movies, horror stories, geocaching, World War II, Godzilla, and/or Dark Shadows — and you have a strong constitution — this round-table discussion might be just the right poison.

I'm also the featured author of the week on the eZine website, and since expressing myself in writing has generally been easier than spontaneously vocalizing stuff, the the written interview may be a little more coherent. 'Tis here: Stephen Mark Rainey, Author of the Week at Lovecraft eZine

Be brave.

Saturday, October 11, 2014

Fall Flingin'


For the past nine years, each fall, a veritable horde of geocachers have gotten together for a big social event called Fall Fling, sponsored by the North Carolina Geocachers Organization, a loose-knit but very active group of individuals whose aim is to "facilitate communication between North Carolina geocachers, the public, and land management officials in a cooperative effort to promote geocaching, an appreciation of the outdoors, and good stewardship of the land and environment.” This weekend, the ninth annual Fling was held here in Greensboro at Hagan Stone Park, with nearly a hundred cachers in attendance. There were prizes, contests, activities for kids, camping, food, hiking, biking, and — most importantly — a bunch of new caches to find, both inside and outside the park. First thing this morning, number one Trail Dawg and consummate old fart Rob Isenhour joined up with me to go after the new ones and make our way to the event. We had only just arrived at the first of the caches when a familiar figure appeared — Mr. Tom "Night-Hawk" Kidd, hoping to beat us to some first-to-finds. Ha! Foiled! We combined forces with Night-Hawk and did, indeed, pick up several first-to-finds before getting to the park.

A particular favorite cache of the day was a unique hide by Mr. Rob "Maingray" Maile — a new entry in his "Yuggoth" series, based on... you guessed it... the Cthulhu Mythos, and the cache itself lived up to the theme. Yes, I am feeling the unspeakable terror, thanks for asking.

The entire event was a volunteer effort, and I wish more people who were paid to do their jobs were as dedicated and efficient. From keeping events within the event running smoothly and on time, to cooking and serving the food, to all the administrative work, from my perspective, everything was flawless. Plus there were dozens of cachers in attendance I already consider good friends, not to mention others I'd never met before but have now made their acquaintance. All among the many reasons I love, love geocaching.

Until Fling #10....
Chow time!
"Please, sir. I want some more."
The 2McTwins, from Reidsville, NC, possibly up to no good. Wait... did I say "possibly?"
Group shot

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Live — Almost — at Lovecraft eZine

Coming up this Sunday, October 12, at 6:00 PM EDT — I'll be live with Lovecraft eZine editor Mike Davis on the eZine's Live Web Series. This event is sure to be cacophonous, laugh-riotus, rip-roarius, and who knows what all, so please consider joining us. I did one of these shows last January, and it was great fun, with several irreverent attendees heckling the guest and the unflappable Mr. Davis in the center of it all to add a modicum of dignity. To jump in on the live edition, visit here to sign up. After it's all over and done, the horror will be preserved for posterity on YouTube.

Here, just to taunt the bravest and most daring among you, is my previous stint on the show:


Monday, October 6, 2014

In the Court of the Yellow King — It's a Book

My return from Michigan ("Midland and More in da Moonlight") indeed did feel rather sad, but upon arriving home on Saturday, my mood was bolstered by finding on my doorstep a box of contributor copies of In the Court of the Yellow King, which features my short story, "Masque of the Queen," a "tragedy told in fire and verse." This is a beautiful, beautiful trade paperback from Celaeno Press, edited by the notorious Glynn Owen Barrass, with cover art provided by the illustrious Daniele Serra, and featuring the talents of Tim Curran, Cody Goodfellow, T. E. Grau, Laurel Halbany, C. J. Henderson, Gary McMahon, William Meikle, Christine Morgan, Edward Morris, Robert M. Price, W. H. Pugmire, Peter Rawlik, Brian Sammons, Lucy Snyder, Greg Stolze, and Jeffrey Thomas. Read more about the book, along with a few personal reflections on Robert W. Chambers' The King in Yellow stories, here.

Check out In the Court of the Yellow King at Amazon.com.

Sunday, October 5, 2014

Midland and More in da Moonlight

Midland in da Moonlight: view of the Tridge at the confluence of the Chippewa and Tittabawassee Rivers
A week with Kimberly in her home state of Michigan — from Midland to Clare to Mt. Pleasant to Munising to Marquette to Whitefish Point — and what an enthralling trip it was for me. This entry is pretty much my own personal chronicle, but if you feel inclined to read on, then by all means, please do. I'm loading this sucker up with some photos (click on them to enlarge); be advised there may be scary folks among them. Proceed at your own risk.

Prior to leaving last week, Ms. B. prefaced our trip by showing me the 2001 Jeff Daniels movie, Escanaba in da Moonlight, which is about as authentic a filmic excursion one might experience into Michigan's upper peninsula (a.k.a. da UP, which is populated by Yoopers). On Friday, 9/26, we flew out of Raleigh/Durham bound for Flint, MI, and ultimately to Kimberly's hometown of Midland, which is located just about the middle of the mitten — known to Yoopers as the Land of the Trolls, since they live "under the (Mackinac) bridge." I've been to many places in the United States, especially during the 80s, when I had to travel all over the country for business, but I had never made it into Michigan before. For me, this trip was a first.

Midland is a beautiful, relatively small town, quite prosperous, the Dow chemical corporation being its primary employer. On their numerous visits to NC, Kimberly's folks, Del and Fern, had welcomed me into their family with open arms, and they were better than perfect hosts during our few days' stay with them. I'm pretty sure Fern would as soon die as see anyone in her home with an even slightly empty stomach, so there was good food aplenty, available most any time of day. That first evening, Kimberly drove me around Midland to visit some of her old stomping grounds, such as the local Center for the Arts, where she had performed in numerous shows, including The Rocky Horror Picture Show and The Pirates of Penzance. Much to my satisfaction, there was a geocache on the premises, so my moniker soon adorned its logsheet. In fact, Midland is a veritable goldmine for cachers, and over the course of our trip, between the upper and lower peninsulas, I managed to claim over 50; not too shabby for a trip for which geocaching wasn't really its primary purpose.

The next morning, we set out on Kimberly's parents' bicycles for a riding tour around the neighborhood, including the nearby Plymouth Park (caches). The fall foliage was just reaching its peak, and since Midland has largely and wisely decided to eschew the horrid clear-cutting of forests and planting of generic subdivisions that so dominate our area in NC, the settings for our ride were nothing short of stunning. Michigan is loaded with birches, ironwoods, and maples, interspersed with more blue spruce and hemlock than I've ever seen anywhere (hemlocks in the south have gone virtually extinct because of the Asian Woody Adelgid parasite). If you're not looking for too strenuous a workout, the terrain in Midland is perfect for bicycling — though that one grade near Chateau Brugger that reached an incline of about 0.005 degrees damn near did me in. One of the most entertaining things I discovered was that many of the squirrels that call Midland home are black. Solid, shiny black. I'd only once before ever seen a black squirrel, and I quite enjoyed watching them play in the Bruggers' backyard.
That evening, we visited Midland's attractive downtown area; had drinks at Cafe Zinc, a classy little establishment at the Hotel H; and took a nighttime stroll down to the Tridge, a three-span footbridge at the confluence of the Chippewa and Tittabawassee rivers (see the photo at the top of the page).
Ms. B. beneath a massive weeping willow at Dow Gardens
A spot of caching followed. Next day, we returned to the Tridge; hiked along the Chippewa; and visited Dow Gardens, an extensive and quite beautiful nature center with numerous trails, streams, and colorful trees. We then went up north of town a ways to visit Midland's city forest, another sizable preserve that's home to quite a number of caches. I claimed a handful of them. Afterward, we discovered a charming little bistro called Whine, whose selection of wine, cocktails, and tapas is varied and very appealing. We tried their tray of goat cheese, baked pita wedges, and olive tapenade, which sent both of us just about over the moon. One of their best drink features is a series of wine flights, each from a different country. They also make a pretty mean vodka martini. In fact, I discovered that most of the restaurants and bars in this good north state make fine non-frou-frou martinis, both gin and vodka, something I've found sorely lacking at too many places here in the south land. We paid Whine a couple of visits, and I do so look forward to returning on some future trip to the mitten.
Old dude marring the view at Dow Gardens
Hanging with The Family, near the Tridge
Monday, Kimberly and I hit the road and visited Clare, about a half-hour west of Midland, where she was born. A very small, rather quaint community with a few caches and a renowned bakery called Cops and Doughnuts, where — I shit you not — one can find some of the best doughnuts and baked goods anywhere in the free world. The shop has been in constant operation since 1896, though in more recent years, it was on the verge of going out of business. Rather than let that happen, members of the local police department bought the place, and it exploded in popularity. The place is not only big with the locals; I think a fair portion of the state's population was there at the same time we were. Indeed, you can find billboards advertising the shop just about anywhere you go in the Land the Trolls. From there, we hit Farwell, another tiny, quaint town where Kimberly's family has a lot of history. There, we visited her grandparents' graves in the old, historic cemetery (her grandmother died just a few years ago at the age of 100). Then it was back on the road to Mt. Pleasant, the home of Central Michigan University, where young Kimberly spent more years than is customary for the average human at an educational institution. Yes, there were caches, and there was also Samuel Mancino's Italian Eatery, which specializes in grinders, a type of sandwich similar to a sub or hoagie, but freaking huge, with delicious, toasted bread — very crispy on the outside, warm and soft on the inside. They're a northern thing, these sandwiches, very different from any I've ever found here in the south or even in Chicago, where I lived in the 1980s.

Come Tuesday, it was time to depart Midland and head for the UP. It's about a three-hour but very easy drive up I-75, and the foliage in the mostly rural part of the mitten was beyond brilliant. Caches, yes. Then we came to the Mackinac Bridge — at five miles long, the longest suspension bridge in the western hemisphere. Lengthy, very high bridges occasionally bring on a mild case of acrophobia, usually if they're very narrow, but the Mackinac didn't faze me at all, and it hardly seemed like a five-mile trip across the strait where Lake Michigan and Lake Huron come together. Once actually in the UP, on Highway 2 heading west, we stopped for a picnic lunch at a little overlook from which we had a gorgeous view of the bridge. A couple of hours later, we took a side trip up Lake Manistique Road, to an area that used to be a resort where Kimberly and her family vacationed regularly back in her checkered youth. It's now private property, the resort long-since closed. From there, though, we did get a nice view of one of the three scenic Manistique lakes.

Our final destination for the day was Munising, a little community on the UP's northern coast along Lake Superior. Munising, I swear to god, is Michigan's answer to Twin Peaks — a picturesque, forested area into which the little town is carved out, with a tiny business district; a paper mill; a handful of shops, restaurants, and motels; and some possibly eccentric if personable locals who were a joy to meet. Our lodgings were at the rustic little Terrace Motel, whose proprietor — a friendly, slightly garrulous fellow named Larry — gave us a most helpful introduction to Munising's landmarks and amenities. The nearby Falling Rock Cafe and Bookstore proved to be our go-to place for breakfast and coffee each morning. I can tell you their toasted English muffins and cinnamon rolls can't be beat. That first night, we went to Muldoon's for pasties (pronounced with a short a), a regular UP staple. They're baked pastries filled with beef or chicken, diced potatoes, rutabagas, carrots, and onions — kind of like pot pies to folks in other areas. Surprisingly, I preferred the chicken to the beef, as it had a more intense savory flavor. Over the next few days, we tried a couple of the other restaurants in town, which were decent enough: Sydney's, a seafood place with, of all things, an Australian theme, where I enjoyed the golden fried Lake Superior whitefish, another of the area's most notable specialties; and Dogpatch, whose Lil Abner theme was almost too overwhelming to take. Their burgers pretty well rocked, though. We ended our first evening by taking a late-night walk along Lake Superior near Sand Point, a few miles northeast of Munising. Well, we had to, didn't we? There was a cache out there.
"Yes!" to the Terrace Motel in Munising
Still life with wine at the Terrace Motel. Yes, it's art.
Glow-in-the-dark Damned Rodan and some driftwood along the Lake Superior shoreline near Sand Point
Waterfalls. That's what you'll find in the UP. Many, many waterfalls, some small, some gigantic, all spectacular in their way. Our most physically active day was Wednesday, when we undertook a six-plus-mile hike into the forest in the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore. Here, we made our way out to Chapel Falls and Chapel Rock, the latter being a natural formation right along the Lake Superior shoreline, where a solitary pine tree grows on a tall pillar of rock, its roots stretching thirty feet to connect with the mainland. On the beach near the formation, we had another nice picnic lunch, then hiked back to the parking area. Straight away, we headed back toward Munising and a couple of nearby falls — MNA Memorial and Tannery Falls, which are tucked in the woods behind a residential area. Memorial Falls, in particular, was striking, in that the terrain forms a huge, circular gorge, into which the water streams from above. You're hiking down a gradual decline, only to suddenly reach a sheer drop of at least a hundred feet (I'm thinking that roaming around back here at night would be a bad idea). From there, a trail winds down the cliff face so you can actually go into the gorge beneath the falls. Directly adjacent to this is another, almost identical gorge, this one absent any flowing water. Nearby but up a very steep, rugged incline — at least on the route we took — you'll come upon Tannery Falls, similar in size and formation to its nearby neighbor. By the time we returned to the Terrace Motel, we were pretty well exhausted, and so we hit the sack relatively early.
Chapel Falls, seen from the trail in the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore forest
Hemlock roots on the cliffside along the trail to Chapel Rock
Ms. B. at Chapel Rock with Lake Superior in the background
From our picnic area: Chapel Rock in the distance, the mouth of Chapel Creek in the foreground
A very small person in the gorge beneath MNA Memorial Falls
For our last full day in the UP, we went down to Laughing Whitefish Falls, southwest of Munising, which was one of the longest falls I've ever seen. At the top, the stream makes a spectacular plunge into space and then cascades several hundred feet down a long flight of steep, rocky stair steps. You're not allowed to climb out on the rocks, but it was about all I could do to keep Ms. B. from vaulting the fences and venturing up the cascade to provide a sense of scale for a photo op. Impetuous youth, I tell you. In the end, she broke no laws or any bones, but she did have to console herself by sharing a bottle of wine with me. There have been worse endings. But I jump ahead of myself. After the falls, we moved on to the town of Marquette, a relatively small community, though the largest town in the UP. It's one of Lake Superior's major ports, and along the lakefront there are both functioning and retired iron-ore docks, which are massive structures that extend far into the lake with chutes along each side for transfering ore into the holds of freighters. We enjoyed a decent lunch at a cozy little restaurant called The Vierling before making our way out to Presque Isle Park, a peninsula on the town's north end, and the Black Rocks, an expansive formation of volcanic rock, including some high cliffs, that extends far into the lake. Caches? Yes. We finished our day in Marquette with a visit to L'Attitude, a classy bistro with excellent drinks, service, and ambiance.
Laughing Whitefish Falls seen from the bottom. Alas, there's no Brugger in the picture
to provide a sense of scale. It's big. BIG.
Laughing Whitefish Falls seen from the top. It's a loooong way down.
Old iron ore dock in Marquette
Upper Tahquamenon Falls
Friday, unfortunately, was a day of nonstop frigid rain. I had picked up a little cold along the way, and I wasn't feeling top-notch, so we didn't spend much time exposed to the elements. We did, with the utmost sadness, check out of our home away from home in Munising and head toward Whitefish Point, some distance to the east, stopping along the way at the upper Tahquamenon Falls for some photos and a cache. Then we continued on to Whitefish Point and lunch at Brown Fisheries' Fish House, where they catch the Lake Superior whitefish in the morning and serve it to you for lunch. Oh, my lord, this is what fish is all about. While the whitefish at Sydney's in Munising was damned good, Brown's was phenomenal stuff, as flavorful and "non-fishy" as fish gets, with homemade tartar sauce, lemon, and malt vinegar. They don't skimp on the servings, either, so one really can't walk out of there wanting, barring some misguided personal volition.
Bell from the Edmund Fitzgerald, raised
from the wreck in 1995


My most sobering experience came at the Shipwreck Museum at Whitefish Point. It has on display myriads of artifacts from the literally hundreds of shipwrecks from the nearby Great Lakes, including the bell from the S.S. Edmund Fitzgerald, which went down in Lake Superior 15 miles north of Whitefish Point, November 10, 1975. Needless to say, the Gordon Lightfoot song went running nonstop through my head all day, but the museum's in-depth narrative of that event, along with so many others from the area, made a real emotional impact on me. The lighthouse at the point, built in 1861, still functions and remains a crucial beacon for ships in this frigid, storm-racked location. Over 200 ships lie at the bottom of the lake within just a few miles of Whitefish Point, dating back to the early 1800s.

At last, it was time to leave the UP and return to the Land of the Trolls — not that this was much of a source of pain for either Kimberly or I. We got back to Midland early in the evening and spent a last enjoyable night with Del and Fern, who I really hope do not end up catching my cold (it may be too late for Kimberly, alas). Then it was up bright and early on Saturday morning to catch our flight(s) back to the south land — Raleigh/Durham via Atlanta. A long layover and a slight delay leaving Atlanta made for a full, tiring day of travel, but eventually, we got back home to Greensboro. I have to thank my good friend Suzy Albanese for house-sitting and looking after the catses while dad was away — that was a major load off my mind while on the biggest trip away from home I've taken in many, many years. The welcoming committee was ferocious, enthusiastic, and relentless. I haven't had a moment in the last 18 hours without a cat on top of me. And today I even got the predawn good-morning-welcome-back urp to let me know how greatly I had been missed.

I'd hate to do it to the cats, but I do believe I'd return to Michigan for another extended stay at the drop of a hat. I'll be anxiously awaiting the opportunity.